How To Have Power And Confidence

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The Book Confidence and Power in Dealing with People was a self-help and business book designed by Les Giblin to help people be successful in human and professional relationships. Although the book is available in print and online, the basics are things you already know and can put into practice.

1

Approach human interactions as though it is a trade. Humans trade things of value for other things of value. People who don't involve themselves in a fair trade may lack confidence or leach confidence from others.
2
Accept that deep human relationships will not always be possible. However, you can learn to deal with people of all types.^[1] You may find more success in dealing with people than in trying to develop meaningful relationships with them.
- Although this is more relevant in a business setting, it may be something to take away from certain friendships as well.
- This process can also help you have more meaningful relationships with family members and friends who you do want to be close to.
3

Put the responsibility on yourself to become a better person and a leader. As many experts believe, if you want to rise to a high level in business or the community, you will have to try to build confidence in yourself first before you can lead others.^[2]

1

Establish that there are subconscious things that all humans crave. Giblin believes these things are admiration, acceptance, approval and appreciation.
2

Start with a respect for other people. Dealing with people is about giving them respect in any interaction. If you don't think other people are important, they are unlikely to respect you in return.^[3]
3
Move on to admiration. Notice people and listen to them. Take note about what is important and exceptional about them, and tell them when appropriate.
- Avoid sarcasm. This is a way to undercut people before they feel the admiration that they crave. Positive methods are better than negative methods.
4

Pay attention to what is admirable about you. Journal or think about your worth. Do things that bring you more in touch with what is valuable about you.
5

Accept who you are, with flaws and talents. Just like 12 steps advocates, you should accept the things you can't change, and you may find you have more time to affect things that can be changed.^[4]
6

Give approval and take it in return. Instead of being self-deprecating, thank people and accept their compliments.^[5]
7

Be appreciative of yourself and of others. In other words, give thanks for what you have.^[6] Avoid being ungrateful of what others contribute to you.

1
Feed the hunger. This is a central part of the process in dealing with other people. First, feed your hunger for acceptance, approval and appreciation, and then feed that hunger for other people.
- Another way to say this is that you need to accept your own need to feel important and be liked. Then, you can accept that other people are looking for the same thing.
2

Make every conversation a trade. You should ideally spend half your time listening and half your time talking, so that you can address the other person's needs as well. People are likely to mirror this attitude.
3

Keep interactions positive. People will also mirror your attitude. Understand that the attitudes you have influence other people.
4
Start conversations by asking people about themselves. They are likely to appreciate the respect, admiration and appreciation this act gives them. Nod, acknowledge the importance of the topic and smile.^[7]
- Body language is extremely important. Don't cross your arms in front of you or frown at someone as they talk.
5

Wait until someone asks about you to talk about yourself. Don't volunteer personal information, but be ready to speak about yourself when asked.
6

Speak passionately about something when asked. Enthusiasm is better than sarcasm.
7

Ask advice and opinions from others. This is a way to express admiration and approval. Asking advice at the right time is a great way to deal well with people who might otherwise object or be confrontational.
8

Approach disagreements calmly. Remember to stay calm, respect your opponent's turn to speak and speak your own side with confidence.^[8] It creates an environment of mutual respect that will help you deal with the most demanding people.
9

Leave an interaction with a touch of praise. It is likely to stick with the person, because you are feeding their need for approval. This leads the way to influence.

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"Confidence and Power in Dealing with People" has a human relations workbook that allows you to put some of the things you learned into practice.

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Article SummaryX

If you want to have confidence and power in dealing with people, show people respect, since everyone wants admiration, acceptance, approval, and appreciation. To make yourself more memorable to others, try starting conversations by asking people about themselves, and end your interactions with a touch of praise that will likely stick with them. When someone you know does something exceptional or important, take notice and express genuine admiration for them. At the same time, pay attention to what you admire about yourself. For example, you may want to keep a journal about your self-worth, since it could help you become more in touch with what is important to you. For more advice, including how to approach disagreements with confidence and power, read on!

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